i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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