You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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