Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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