3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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