I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
