Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
