A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
