"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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