yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
