If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
