those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
