big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
