I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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