I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
