If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
