I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
