It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
