Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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