this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
