I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
