i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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