I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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