she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
