Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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