I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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