the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize