I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
