honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
