TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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