Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize