Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
