You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
