i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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