Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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