She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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