If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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