Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
