At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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