You're so nebulous sometimes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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