just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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