i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
