your room smells of hookers.
And success
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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