just come out here and I will go home with you...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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