come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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