PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
