I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
