i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Life is so much better after having sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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