Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
