She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
