i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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