I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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