Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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