The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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