that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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