the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You can't special order awesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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