i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
