And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
